


different colors

by ciuucalata



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-21
Updated: 2019-08-28
Packaged: 2020-05-16 03:53:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 15,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19310092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ciuucalata/pseuds/ciuucalata
Summary: A collection of one-shots I've posted on my tumblr or parts from fanficionts I'll never get to finish, yet love too much to let them go to waste.





	1. Chapter 1

Three nights passed since Shiro came back and Lance has spent all of them just like the first one. Staring wide awake at the wall or at Keith or trying to sleep even if he knew it was useless. His brain wouldn’t let him even close his eyes.

He kept thinking about what it means for the team now that there is one paladin too much. Does it mean someone has to step down from their position? Does it mean they all go back to their original lions? He knows Black and Keith’s bond is new, but it doesn’t seem fragile. They seem to fit just as well as Blue and Allura fit together. But Lance could also feel how much Red is missing Keith, and, after all they’ve been through, he isn’t blaming him.

The first time they met Allura and they talked about their lions, she had been very clear when she told them that the lions chose the paladin, not the other way around. And that was exactly why he felt like his bond with Blue was so strong. Out of all five of them, she chose Lance. Not Keith who found her cave first, not Shiro who would become their leader, not Pidge who built a solar system scanner all by themselves, not Hunk who was just as smart as Pidge and all in all just a great person. Instead, she chose Lance, who was just a boy from Cuba, to become her paladin.

Sighing, he sits up in bed and tries to climb over Keith to get out.

“Where are you going?” comes a muffled voice while Lance is hovering above his boyfriend.

Keith turns on his back and looks up at Lance with a sleepy frown on his face and only one eye open. The other boy laughs quietly and leans down, kissing Keith quickly on the lips.

“Just going to the bathroom, babe,” he replies and smiles again when Keith’s frown disappears before he hums in acknowledgement. “Try not to miss me too much.”

“I’m not making a promise that I can’t keep.”

“Keith,” Lance whined hiding his flushed face and wide smile in the other’s boy chest. “You can’t just say things like this and expect me to be okay.”

“Oh,” Keith laughed combing his fingers slowly through Lance’s short hair. “I can’t but you can?”

Lance turned his face so he’d have his cheek on Keith’s chest and not his forehead. He could hear his boyfriend’s steady heartbeat which was honestly so calming, maybe if he stayed here he’d finally fall asleep. He felt Keith putting his arms around him, squeezing tight, and then he suddenly turned on his side to face the edge of the bed. Now, the only thing Lance could feel was the hard and cold floor after Keith let go of him to fall off of the bed.

“Don’t fall asleep on me after you said you had to go to the bathroom,” Keith said smiling when Lance glared up at him.

“You’re so mean,” Lance pouted standing up with his back turned to his boyfriend. Before he could walk away, though, he felt a quick painful sting that made him spin to face Keith who was giving him a innocent look.

“Did you just pinch my ass?”

“Well, it was right there in front of me. I couldn’t help myself,” Keith laughed making his boyfriend frown, but it soon disappeared.

Keith looked so happy right now. He had one hand tucked under the pillow while the other held the blanket balled in a fist at his chest. Lance wished he could keep him like this forever, away from the reality that waited for them outside their bedroom’s door. He knew that they both considered this room to be their safe space, where nothing and no one could touch their happiness and where they both could pretend that for a few moments they were normal teenagers, and not defenders of the universe. Where they were both safe and sound and death wasn’t something they saw everytime they flew their lions.

“I don’t blame you that you can’t keep your hands off of this,” Lance joked bringing his hands up and then letting them go down to show off himself.

Keith snorted and pulled out a leg from under the warm blanket to kick Lance’s ass and making him stumble a bit to the side. “Go to the bathroom, you dork!

Lance laughed and blew him a kiss before stepping out of the room, Keith’s laugh being muffled by the pillow but still audible enough to make Lance sigh contently and smile.


	2. it's not you and it's not me

Lance is fine. He is okay. He is more than okay.

Or at least he’d be if he’d only stop thinking about his ex-boyfriend.

Sure, only a couple of days have  passed since he and Keith broke up because they are going to different universities but he’s trying to get over it. He doesn’t want to think about him or the hole he feels in his chest or how Shiro told him that Keith is just as broken as he is.

So, yeah, he’s fine, he is okay, he is-

“He is here,” Hunk whispers, making Lance’s thoughts snap as the chatter and clinking inside the crowded coffee shop bring him back to reality.

Lance turns to look at his best friend with a raised eyebrow. “Who is here?” he asks even though he feels dumb for asking this because he know who it is. But he can hope and play dumb for at least a few more seconds.

Hunk’s worried look takes on a little vexed turn and he leans in a little closer to Lance to whisper again, “Keith is here.”

And even though he  _ knew _ it was Keith the one Hunk was talking about, he still freezes up distressed. He closes his eyes trying to keep away the tears and swallows the lump in his throat. He barely succeeds.

When he opens his eyes, Hunk looks at him like he can feel Lance’s pain and it only makes it worse. He just wants to forget. Is he asking for too much?

“We can go if you want to,” he promises but Lance shakes his head.

He came here just so he wouldn’t stay at home and cry his eyes out. Just thinking about being alone with his thoughts again is making him want to scream. His favorite coffee shop is a good place to drown out those thoughts so he planned on staying here until closing time, even though he knew from the beginning that the chances of bumping into Keith here were high, after all this is also  _ their _ favorite hangout place. But when he saw that neither Keith nor Pidge were here he let himself feel relieved and think that maybe the world doesn’t hate him that much.

He forgot that the world liked to prove him wrong, though.

“No, that’s okay! There are a lot of free tables, it’s not like he’s going to seat with us,” Lance smiles trying to make himself believe the words but Hunk’s frown tells him that they didn’t even convince his best friend.

His body is aching to turn around and look at Keith. To see if he looks as bad as Shiro told Hunk or if they were just words used to make Lance feel better. But he doesn’t. He’s afraid to see Keith again so soon after their breakup because he doesn’t know how he’s going to react.

Hunk’s eyes move again to the door and he looks at Keith with narrowed eyes. Not in a mean way, Lance realizes, but more like he doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do. Break up or no break up, Keith is still their best friend and letting him sit at another table would be weird. Lance knows that. He knows. But Keith’s words are still echoing in his mind and they feel like a knife twisting in his chest.

“Well, he’s making his way towards us,” Hunk says sounding and looking surprised. “Hey, Keith!” he greets him when he stops at the table.

Lance doesn’t look up at him but he feels him when he stops between Hunk and Lance.

“Hey, Hunk!” Keith replies and his voice makes Lance close his eyes again because he can’t do this. It’s too damn early. His heart is still in pieces and he just wants time to heal. What he doesn’t want is Keith’s soft voice when he says. “Hey, Lance!”

He bites his inner cheek, hard enough that he feels the taste of blood but it’s not something new for him. That’s fine, that’s okay, he’s going to be okay.

Lance opens his eyes and looks up at Keith too, a smile ready on his lips but it drops when he sees his ex-boyfriend.

He cut his hair, finally, and he’s wearing the sweater Lance gave him as a Christmas present just a few weeks ago. And if you add to these the fact that he looks  _ good _ , like them breaking up didn’t touch him in no visible way, then you can easily understand why Lance can only stare at him without saying a word.

Keith’s soft smile starts to waver a little but he doesn’t break eye contact with Lance. He’s steady and strong, looking at Lance like he’s waiting for the other boy to do something. If he’s waiting for a cold treatment or a crying show, Lance isn’t sure, but he knows he can provide both of those.

In the end, he coughs and tries to force a smile once again. “Hey, b-buddy!” he saves himself at the last moment and almost drop on his knees to thank God that he actually pulled that off. That he didn’t call Keith  _ babe _ . “What brings you here?”

Keith seems relieved to see Lance act normal, the smile that was unsure until now grows until his dimples show. His body relaxes visibly and he puts his hands on the back of the chair that sits between Lance and Hunk and leans forward a little.

“I’m supposed to meet Pidge and Allura here before we go see a movie.”

Lance nods politely, his smile feeling too tight on his face because why do Pidge and Allura hate him so much? Can’t they meet directly at the cinema? What’s the point of meeting here before-…

“Because Pidge needs to take something from Matt,” Keith explains, reading Lance’s mind effortlessly like always. Lance turns to look at Matt who is making coffee behind the counter and chatting with some customers.

“Yeah,” Lance nods again looking up at Keith. “That makes sense.”

Keith smiles at him and then silence falls between them. It’s tense and awkward and it forces Lance to fill it up with useless words. The memories of what silence used to be like before seems more like a dream, familiar but not real, lingering there on the border but too far away from their reach.

“Uum,” Lance clears his throat looking away from Keith’s adorable dimples. “Do you wanna sit with us until they come?” he offers, indicating with a hand the chair Keith’s leaning on.

Hunk sends him a look like he can’t understand what Lance’s thinking but he ignores him because that is nothing. What makes his heart skip a painful beat is Keith’s smile falling. Lance knows it’s because Keith’s unsure about what he wants to do and what he’s supposed to do since Lance feels just as unsure; not being able to choose between wanting Keith here or as far away from him as possible.

“Yeah,” Keith starts, clearing his throat as he moves to sit down. “Sure.”

It’s awkward, Lance knows that, but it was inevitable. They are exes and all their interactions are supposed to be awkward and painful. It doesn’t mean, though, that he doesn’t wish for it to not be like this.

It just makes him realize that until now he took for granted everything that their relationship offered.

“What movie are you guys gonna watch?” Hunk asks, saving the situation like always and both boys send him grateful and relieved looks.

“I’m not really sure,” Keith admits chuckling and the sound twists painfully Lance’s insides. “Pidge forced me to get out of my house… well, she actually threatened me but you know how she can be.”

Hunk laughs and it feels like some of the tension that was sitting with them at the table evaporates. Not all of it, but some; enough to make Lance feel like he can breathe normally.

“I think it’s  _ A Monster’s Call _ . Like, I remember Allura saying that she really wanted to see that movie at the cinema,” Keith continues, shrugging like he doesn’t really care or know enough about his plans for tonight.

“Oh man!” Hunk sighs, letting his shoulders drop as he sulks down at his drink. “I’ve been meaning to go watch that movie too. I just never find the right time to do it.”

“Well,” Keith begins quietly and Lance knows where this is going to end and he dreads it. “You can come watch it with us tonight?”

Hunk looks up at him excited, his answer on the tip of his tongue ready to be spoken but then Lance meets his eyes and he freezes.

Another con of breaking up with your boyfriend beside having your heart broken and missing him, is that sometimes your common friends will have to choose between the two of you and you can’t be angry if they don’t choose you. Honestly, Lance isn’t even mad. He just wants this fragile period after their break up to end once and for all and, maybe, to go back to how things were before they got together. He knows that that’s impossible, but he can wish and if things can’t be exactly the same, then he wants at least something that feels normal and more natural.

Keith sees Hunk’s hesitation and follows his eyes to Lance. The somehow excited look that was there when he asked Hunk to come with him stars to dim down and Lance feels like a new weight has been added on his chest when he sees the kicked puppy look in his eyes.

_ Damn it! I still love you, you fool. You can’t just give me his look and expect me to not fall for it. _

Lance tries to fight it, he really does but when Keith breathes out a barely audible “Oh!” he loses it and sighs.

“My sister said that it’s a really good movie,” he forces himself not to mumble because that’s all he can give. Something vague that can be interpreted by the others however they wanted. 

Lance knows he can’t force Hunk to spend all his free time with him but he’s selfish and he wants that. He doesn’t want Keith to take Hunk away from him.

He realizes what a dumb thought it is just after he thinks it. Keith would never do that and Hunk would always be on his side, no matter what.

“We should go see it too soon then, buddy,” Hunk says, giving Lance an exit from this awkward opportunity and he is so grateful. So, so grateful that he wants to get up to hug Hunk. He doesn’t do it, of course, but he’ll make sure to thank him later.

Lance dares a glance at Keith and sees the hesitation in his eyes. Lance knows what he’s about to ask, the answer is already on the tip of his tongue and he’s scared of its consequences, but then the look in Keith’s eyes changes to resignation -a look that Lance isn’t used to see on his face- and he never asks them to go to see the movie tonight. Which means that Lance can now breathe relieved and yet, he can’t chase away the bitter taste of disappointment that Keith didn’t ask; that Keith chose to break up; that Keith didn’t want a relationship anymore; that Keith didn’t want  _ Lance _ anymore.

Lance can feel the prickling sensation of tears wanting to be left out and they’re too strong and stubborn to keep them at bay. Keith notices them too and his wide shocked eyes let Lance know that he's about to do or say something. And that’s the last thing he wants right now.

He is saved once again, though, and Lance starts thinking that, maybe, the world isn’t as against him as he first thought.

“Hey, guys!” Matt calls enthusiastically over the low music and conversations in the room, making Hunk and Keith turn around to look at him. Lance takes advantage of this moment when no one is looking at him to wipe the tears in his eyes with his hands balled into fists.

_ This is so embarrassing _ , he thinks as he takes in a steadying breath. He tries smiling and, when it doesn’t feel weird on his face, he turns towards Matt, who’s making his way towards their table with a big smile on his face.

For some reason, it makes Lance feel better. He thinks that maybe it’s because it doesn’t seem full of worry or  sympathy when he looks at Lance and Keith like everybody else’s eyes. It makes him feel normal, like nothing has been going wrong since there’s been talk about going to collage, like he’ll turn to Keith and find that blinding smile on his face that Lance gets to kiss everytime he wants to.

Or wanted to.

“Hey, Matt!” Lance greets him back -thankfully with a normal voice- at the same time as Keith. They both turn to look at eachother and Lance knows that this will happen a lot in the future. That no matter if he’ll get over the break up or not, this feeling of unfairness, of incompleteness, of grief for what they lost will follow them everywhere.

“Still in sync,” Matt laughs ignoring the tension that was in the air like always. “I guess spending all of your free time with your boyfriend can do that.”

Lance waits for Matt to correct himself but the  _ ex-boyfriend _ part never comes and all three boys look up at him with disbelief in their eyes. Silence reigns once again over the table and Matt continues smiling in the innocent way he does, but confusion slowly starts to cloud his amber eyes.

“What? Why are you looking at me like I just killed someone?”

_ Well, you just killed me, Matt, _ Lance thinks before he clears his throat, Matt’s attention shifting its focus on him. Keith looks like this discussion is the last thing he wants to hear and something ugly, almost like anger, rolls inside of Lance’s chest.  _ This is all on you, Kogane. _

“Me and Keith broke up,” he fumes, not even trying to hide the irritation from his voice. Matt raises both of his eyebrows, probably more surprised by what Lance said than the way he said it. Hunk and Keith on the other hand, look at him with slightly different shocked expressions.

“Oh.” Matt shifts awkwardly, looking away from Lance and Keith. One of his hands moves to the elbow of his other arm and squeezes a few times while he’s probably thinking about what to say next.

“Pidge didn’t tell you?” Keith asks but for some reason it feels more like a statement to Lance rather than a question.

“I didn’t tell him what?” comes a voice from behind Lance and all four boys turn to look at Pidge and Allura.

Allura’s hair is a little damp from the snow outside and her cheeks, just like Pidge’s, are redder than usual. She smiles when she meets Lance’s eyes while she unbuttons her coat and takes off the scarf from around her neck.

Pidge’s glasses are fogged but she doesn’t look like she’s planning on taking them off and Lance, despite being annoyed until now, has a hard time trying not to laugh. She always does this and he is sure he’ll never get used to how ridiculous she looks.

“Can you even see us?” he asks, giggling when Pidge’s head turns to look in his direction, though he’s not sure if she can even see him.

“No,” she replies drily making Allura roll her eyes fondly beside her and Lance snorts. “What didn’t I tell Matt?”

“About the break up,” her brother answers sounding a little frustrated and Lance knows that something passes over Pidge’s face but, since he can’t see her eyes because of the glasses, he’s not sure what it is.

“Oh,” Pidge says, sounding almost as abashed as her brother did earlier.

She takes off her glasses, her eyes locking with Keith’s for a few seconds before she looks down at the fogged up lenses in her hands. She doesn’t seem as awkward as Matt was before but there is something in the way she holds herself that makes Lance a little curious. She looks sad or disappointed or maybe even guilty, though Lance can’t really say for sure what she’s feeling right now.

“Well,” Allura starts, making everyone’s attention shift from the fidgety Pidge to her steady glance. “Your break up is no one’s gossip topic, even amongst friends. She just did her job as your best friend and kept the news about what happened between you guys just for her and those who knew about it.”

Matt looks like he wants to say something else but then he looks over at Keith and Pidge, and just sighs defeated.

“You’re right. Sorry,” he says biting his lip while looking around the table at everyone. “Uuuh, can I get you guys anything?”

“Thank you but no,” Allura smiles at him.

“We’ve got a movie to catch,” Pidge continues putting her glasses back on. They aren’t as fogged as they were before and Lance is able see her eyes through some cleared up patches, but for some reason it just makes it funnier than before.

Keith getting up from his chair catches Lance’s attention and, without wanting to, he looks up at the other boy waiting for a goodbye kiss that he soon realizes will never come.

When their eyes meet, they freeze and look at eachother with wide eyes, both realizing why Lance looked up at Keith.

Lance looks away with flushed cheeks and a new wave of hurt in his chest, ignoring whatever thoughts are passing over Keith’s face. Thoughts that he can read like an open book and that right now might hurt him more than anything else.

“We just came here because I need to borrow some money from you,” Pidge admits grinning widely at her brother and extending her hand towards him. He looks at her with narrowed eyes but in the end he just sighs before he gives her the money.

“Have fun,” he says and walks away which makes Pidge giggle.

“Okay, now I’m ready! Let’s go have some fun.”

“You’ll be crying like a baby the whole movie,” Allura teases her putting on back her scarf and laughing at Pidge’s glare.

Lance smiles at them, trying very hard to not look at Keith this whole time and almost succeeding. The girls say their goodbyes to Lance and Hunk and leave first, Keith lingering beside Lance’s chair only for a moment and making Lance feel his every movement, every breath he takes, every side look thrown in his way.

He lets out a relieved sigh when Keith leaves too, waving his hand as goodbye.

Lance doesn’t want to look his way. He doesn’t want to see Keith walk away. He doesn’t want to feel his heart cry out for his ex-boyfriend and he thinks he’s safe. He think he almost did it…

Until he hears the door open and the sound of cars passing on the street outside making its way inside the coffee shop.

He thinks he’s safe until he looks back at the door and meets Keith’s eyes. A million feelings swimming through him, through Keith’s eyes, between the empty space that formed far too soon between them.


	3. suddenly i see you

Keith is only five when he realizes that his eyes aren’t both the same color.

He stops brushing his teeth then, narrowing his eyes in confusion as he leans over the sink to look better and closer at his reflection in the bathroom’s mirror. Of course, he’s too short to get as close as he wants, but he’s trying even if he doesn’t really succeed.

It does catch his mom’s attention, though, and she blinks surprised at him.

He looks at her reflection and when their eyes meet, she smiles at him through a mouth full of toothpaste. Both her eyes are black and sparkling with amusement. Keith then turns to his dad, who’s also brushing his teeth on the other side of Keith and meets his eyes.They’re both the same color as one of Keith’s eyes: a deep blue that, with the right light trick, turns into purple almost.

Keith looks a few more times from his dad’s eyes to his mom’s and frowns.

He takes out his toothbrush and says, mouth full of toothpaste, “Your eyes are strange.”

His parents share a look above his head and both huff through their nose as if they want to laugh but can’t. His mom is the one that finishes brushing her teeth and, after washing her mouth, she puts a hands on his head to brush his bangs away from his face.

“Why are our eyes strange, honey?”

Keith spits the toothpaste out but forgets to clean his mouth with water afterwards. He looks up at his mom instead, confused frown still in its place.

“That’s because they aren’t like mine. They’re- both of your eyes are black!” he points out as if she doesn’t already know that. His mom laughs softly, the same way she always does when Keith says something that sounds like an almost truth. She shakes her head and passes her fingers again through his hair.

“They’re not different, buddy,” his dad says, instead, and Keith turns to face the mirror again. He meets his dad’s eyes and it’s like once he noticed the difference, that’s all he can think about.

One of Keith’s eyes is the same color as his dad’s eyes and the other one is such a clear blue, it reminds Keith of pools. It’s not black like his mom’s. It’s blue. If Keith is being honest, this opposing ideas in his eyes scares him a little. He feels as if it’s about something bigger than anything he knows. Almost as if it holds powers and secrets that Keith isn’t able to understand yet.

“They’re just special,” his dad finishes.

Keith frowns at him and turns to look at his reflection in the mirror once again.

All he can see is blue and purple.

* * *

 Keith’s eyes, of course, aren’t that special, he finds out later on.

They don’t make him different from all his other friends so, in his opinion, they aren’t special. He realizes, in just a few days after the startling realization he had while brushing his teeth, that he’s not the only one that has eyes of different colors.

Sure, he met a few kids that have both eyes the same color, but he soon learns that that is normal too.

He also learns about soulmates. About that one person that he’ll meet in his life that will give a sense to everything- and also the color of their eyes. About how having a soulmate means that you won’t have to ever feel alone. About how you’ll spend your whole life by their side. He learns about love and all the different shades that it comes in. Shades of love that are each important, no matter if the person you love is your soulmate or not.

For these reasons, he understands that his eyes are special too. Because they symbolize the bond he has with someone he hasn’t met yet- but that he will meet. And he will love that person as if they are a part of him and the other person will love him like he’s a part of them too.

“It’s not  _as if_ , my love,” his dad tells his mom when they finally talk about this a few years after the ‘brushing teeth realization’, as his parents so kindly remind Keith of it everytime. Keith’s dad puts a hand on his head to ruffle his hair and turns to smile at him. “They are a part of you, son. And you are a part of them, too. When you’ll meet them, you’ll feel like… like you’re in focus.”

“Focus?” Keith asks, his eyebrows furrowing together. His dad pulls the same face quickly, like he is just as confused as Keith.

“Well, being in focus means… it means that…” his dad trails off, looking away from Keith around the living room, as if it hid away the words he needed for his explanation.

“Keith, sweetheart,” his mom calls him and when he turns to look at her, the first thing his eyes settle on is her enormous belly. It looks as if she’s hiding a ball under her black sweater. Keith knows that isn’t actually true because he’s seen her belly but that thought never really disappeared. “You don’t have to understand everything now. You’ll have time to figure it out.”

Keith’s dad nods, clearly relieved that he doesn’t have to give any more explanations. His mom shakes her head amused, but it has a fond edge. She walks towards her boys with a hand on her belly.

“And it’s not like everyone has the same soulmate experience. You’ll get your own, so be patient.” She sits down between Keith and his dad with a groan after which she sighs contently, putting both hands on her belly. “Now, who’s ready to watch that documentary about cryptids?”

Keith’s dad groans while Keith’s face lights up and he bounces in his spot on the couch. His mom laughs and, as she turns on the TV to look for the right channel, she winks at her husband. In response, he rolls his eyes and puts a hand around her shoulders in a way that allows him to also touch Keith’s head if he wanted to do that.

They’re just twenty minutes into the documentary and Keith is focused on the words of the people interviewed, yet he still hears when his mom gasps and lets out a soft, “Oh!”

He turns to look at her, confused and a little bit worried until he sees her smiling down at her belly.

“Everything alright, sweetheart?” his dad asks, putting a hand over one of hers, which is resting on the big bump.

“She’s kicking,” she whispers, eyes glistening with excitement and love. It immediately infects his dad because he’s smiling warmly at their hands. “Keith,” his mom says and both his parents turn to him. “Do you want to feel it, sweetie?”

Keith looks unsure from them to the belly and, hesitating for a second or two, he nods slowly. His mom takes one of his hands after tucking up a part of her sweater and she puts it on her warm skin.

At first, nothing happens. He’s just touching the stretched skin that feels nothing like the soft tummy he used to nap on just months ago. But then - then he feels a bump against his hands and it makes him flinch a little from the surprise. His mom’s hands on his doesn’t let him move away, though. She laughs quietly at his reaction. Keith pays no attention to her. He feels the small bump again and this time, when it comes, he’s ready for it.

His eyes widen as he looks only at the part of his mom’s belly that his hand touches. He opens his mouth but he can’t seem to say anything. He’s too mesmerized by what’s happening.

That is his little sister.

“I want to name her Riley,” his mom whispers and a soft silence falls in the room. “Just like your mom.”

And as Keith looks up from his mom’s belly to his dad, he sees the tears fill up his purple eyes.

* * *

 Keith is nine when he realizes something about his soulmate and he’s ten when he tells his parents about it.

He got into a fight at school that day and he’s embarrassed to face his parents because he knows they’ll be disappointed in him. Yet, he can’t bring himself to regret hitting Dean. He deserved it and Keith would do it again in a heartbeat.

“Keith, sweetheart,” his mom implores, getting down on her knees in front of the couch on which Keith was sitting. She takes both his hands in  hers, bringing them close together as if they were something to cherish. The warmth of her hands that envelop his bruised knuckles make a fresh wave of ashamed tears fill his eyes. “Please talk to us.”

“What made you hit that boy, buddy?” his dad asks, voice just a notch harsher than normal. Keith can see his dad’s legs as he stands behind mom, holding Riley in his arms. He uses them as a focus point because, by doing so, it means that he doesn’t have to look at his mom’s face when he tells them the reason.

“He was being mean,” he whispers. And just those few words hurt his throat that’s desperately swallowing down tears. “He- he said-” a hiccup interrupts him and it startles him enough to make him give up on holding back from crying. He whimpers and takes his hands out of his mom’s to hide his face.

There’s silence from his parents for just a second and then his mom wraps her arms around him, tugging him to her chest. “Keith, baby. Shhh, it’s okay. It’s okay.”

He doesn’t feel okay, though. He still feels like there is a heavy weight on his chest and it’s hard to breathe through the countless waves of tears that overflow in his eyes. He’s still scared and ashamed and angry. All these contradicting feelings are overwhelming him and, even as his mom is trying to reassure him, he can’t get a word out.

His mom then takes him in her arms before she stands up. She’s trying to comfort him but no matter how warm and accepting his mom feels now, it can’t take away the fear of her hating him for the way he feels. He’s afraid that once she finds out that he likes boys instead of girls, she’ll look at him with the same disgust and hatred Dean’s eyes showed while he was talking about romantic soulmates who are.

“He-he was saying bad things,” Keith tries again. Once he started talking, he couldn’t stop. He told his parents how Dean’s browns eyes were burning with a dark fire and how he spit every word he said like they didn’t deserve to be on his lips. How he didn’t use bad words because they were still at school, but he didn’t need to use them anyway. How the way he spoke all the other words that got out of his mouth stabbed Keith hard in the chest.

“I understand how that would make you feel, Keith. But punching someone is still a bad thing.” His dad still sounded angry, maybe more than before, and Keith whimpers again, hiding himself more in his mom’s shoulder.

“ _Diaki_!” his mom whispers; a magic word that always silences the whole house. “Keith, why did you punch Dean?” she asks once again but her words are somehow different. As if she knows- knew all along and was just waiting for Keith to realize it too.

“My soulmate is a boy.”

It feels as if time freezes right then. Keith wishes that were the case because it would make his life so much more easier. But of course, the universe isn’t on Keith’s side and it decides to let the time flow as it wants.

It takes only a breath for Keith to realize what he said out loud.

It takes only a breath for his mom’s arms to squeeze her tighter to her chest.

It only takes a breath for his dad to step closer and put a trembling hand on his shoulder.

And it only takes a breath for Riley to start crying her eyes out.

That startles everyone. Keith quickly wipes away his tears while his dad tries to make Riley stop her own. He looks panicked, as if it’s the first time he sees a baby crying. His mom turns to face Riley properly, still holding Keith in her arms.

“Shhh, baby,” they both say at the same time and for some reason, even in this weird moment, that makes him smile. “Everything’s fine.”

“What is she saying?” his mom asks.

All three of them remain silent and Keith wonders if his parents are also holding their breath just to understand the mess of syllabes his sister is trying to put together. The crying and sobs aren’t helping, but somehow, his dad is able to translate her gibberish.

“Keith?” he asks, not sure if he heard right. “Sunshine, Keith is right here.” He takes her away from his chest where she’s been crying, and turns her to face Keith. “See, he is okay. He isn’t crying,” he says softly and slowly.

“No one is scolding him,” his mom adds. “No one hates him.” It feels as if those words are meant to be more for Keith than for Riley. “He’s still your big brother, no matter what.”

Keith feels as a new lump forms in his throat, but the feelings pushing behind it are warmer and softer. He isn’t crying, but he wouldn’t mind doing that now.

At their mom’s words, Riley stops crying and looks at her. Keith can barely understand sometimes when his sister talks, let alone what he’s thinking. In that moment, though, it feels as if she’s saying,  _“Well, duh, who else’s big brother can he be?”_ Then Riley turns to face Keith.

“Keef,” Riley calls him even if she’s able to pronounce his name correctly by now. She’s just not bothering. Keith looks at her back, now knowing what to say. Riley needs no words, though, she just smiles brightly at him, flushed cheeks still wet from crying.

He smiles at her and her blue eyes shine brighter as an excited sound, almost like a laugh, comes from her.

* * *

 

Ever since that day when he was five, Keith has been wondering what it’d be like to have both eyes of the same color. And years later, when he found out that that could be possible, but only after he met his soulmate, he thought about all the different possibilities of their meeting.

Would it happen while he was still young, or when he was older, with lost hope of ever meeting his soulmate? Would it happen in winter, during a snowy day where the snowflakes fall down like glitter, or maybe during summer, when he was at the beach and the color of the ocean would resemble his soulmate’s eyes? Maybe they’d just randomly bump into each other at a coffee shop and stay there talking for hours. Or maybe they’d meet through a mutual friend. He wonders if it would hurt when the eye color changes, or if it’ll happen in a blink.

There are so many possibilities. Keith daydreamed about almost all of them. And in a way, he’s right about all of them.

The summer before his freshman year in high school his parents decide that they need a break from the city. And what better break than a week to the beach.

Well, in Keith opinion, anything.

It’s not that he hates the beach. He actually likes it in the mornings when it’s silent and there are a few people. But as the days keeps growing, so does the crowd and the heat and the sweat.

Sure, he could spend all his time in the water but it’s not as fun when you don’t know how to swim.

“You don’t even want to learn how to swim, Grumpy,” Riley calls out accusingly to him, swimming away.

“I hope a fish eats you, Peaches!” Keith calls out and it makes his dad look at him. He could almost hear him say,  _“Be nice to your sister.”_ He is nice, okay? It’s not his fault that Riley doesn’t have to follow the same rules as him.

A ball lands  out of nowhere in front of him and splashes him on the face with freezing water.

“Riley!” he cries without even making sure it was her that threw the ball. Her laughter is enough of an answer, though. “Come back here, you little peach.”

“Stop calling me that!” she replies instead, swimming even farther away towards their mom. “I hate peaches!”

“Exactly!” He wants to flip her off, the way he does with his friends somehow, but he knows that’ll get him grounded for eternity. Instead, he sticks his tongue out at her.

“I miss the days when you used to be crazy about each other,” his father sighs. “Now, you two are just crazy!” And with that he swims away from Keith, leaving him alone with the ball.

“It’s not my fault she grew up to hate me,” Keith says to no one as he takes the ball before it could drift away from him. He looks down at the ball, at its  bright colors displayed in a rainbow pattern, and he thinks about his soulmate.

He’s been thinking a lot about his soulmate lately. About what he’ll look like, what he’ll sound like, about his smile and hair and nose and lips and eyes. Especially the eyes. They’re the only thing he knows about his soulmate and the thing that’ll let them recognize eachother.

One clear blue eye. One dark blue eye. Same color, just different shades. He wonders if this coincidence has any meaning behind it.

When he told this to his mom, she laughed and combed her fingers through his hair.  _“I believe there is no such thing as coincidence, pumpkin. Everything in this world has its own meaning and fate. It just takes a while to understand what it really is.”_

_“What is mine, mom?”_

_“To be loved, sweetheart.”_

Keith blushes at the memory, shaking his head at his mom’s cheesiness, but it still makes him smile. His parents always showed and told them how loved they are. And Keith might be embarrassed from time to time to show that he loves them too, but he’ll never be ashamed of loving them as much as he does.

“Mooom! Daad! Teach me how to swim!” he calls out, ignoring how everyone enjoying the water turns to look at him.

“I guess the ugly duckling has finally grown up,” Riley says when he finally reaches him.

“You know, for an eight years old, you have a really smart mouth,” he says And like every big brother that respects himself, he splashes her with water. She yelps, trying to get away from him but the water is a tricky place when it comes to doing earthly things, like running backwards.

Riley trips on something and goes under the water, surfacing before anyone could get worried.

“Ooh, you’re so dead,  _peaches_.

“Hey, that’s my thing!” Keith accuses and has no time to close his mouth before Riley splashes him.

They spend the rest of the afternoon like this. The two of them fighting about too many things, and their parents acting as if they didn’t know them. Sometimes, even loving parents can pretend not to love you from embarrassment.

When they finally decide it’s time to go home, Keith feels like he’s already sleeping on his feet. All his moves feel as if he is made of jelly and his eyes don’t want to stay all the way open. At least he’s not the only one yawning.

Riley was already sleeping in their dad’s arms, her ponytails dangling with every step. For some reason, it makes Keith want to laugh. In that moment, it’s the funniest thing ever.

He’s so focused on her hair that he loses all control of his limbs, letting the ball fall from under his arm.

“You better catch it, son,” his dad says chuckling. “I don’t wanna buy another one for your sister.”

“Whyy?” he whines, but he still goes after it.

The balls keeps rolling down, towards the water and Keith swears that if it touches the waves, he’s letting it to fate’s will. Unfortunately, someone stops it before it can get anywhere close to the water.

Keith sighs as he jogs to the boy that picked it up. “Thank you! You save-!”

He has no chance of finishing his sentence before the boy looks up at him and their eyes meet. One clear blue eye. One dark blue eye. Same color, just different shades.

He is sure time must have frozen. There is no wind blowing, no waves crashing, no happy children screaming. Not even his own heartbeat could be heard.

He can’t hear or feel anything. All his attentions is focused on those heterochromatic eyes that look back at him. Wide and sparkling and so, so beautiful. Keith is sure he has never seen a thing or person more beautiful than his own soulmate.

They blink and time continues flowing again.

All it took was one blink to break the magic. His soulmate’s eyes are no longer mismatched now. They are the same dark blue color and it instantly becomes Keith’s favorite color.

All it took was one blink for the boy to drop the ball, to look at Keith and to run away. Everything happens so quickly that Keith can’t understand what just happened. By now, the ball is getting taken away by the clear blue water but he doesn’t care. He walks towards it and takes it in his hands. He looks at it’s rainbow colors and that’s when realization strikes him.

All it took was one blink for Keith to lose his soulmate forever.


	4. Chapter 4

Trying not to wake Keith up, Lance turned to face his boyfriend. There was only a little light in the room, but his eyes got used to the dark already making it easier to look at the other boy. There were a few short strands of hair that fell on his face from the little ponytail that he usually put his hair before bed, some faded scars on his jaw that Keith got from wanting to fight everyone and everything on his own and dark circles under his eyes that had been a constant in the past days.

But despite all this, he looked so peaceful right now. No furrowed brow caused by worries, no tired eyes caused by sleepless night by Black’s side and no tears stained cheeks caused by Shiro’s disappearance.

Gently, Lance pushed away the hair that fell on Keith’s face, which made the other boy frown and bury his face deeper in his pillow. Lance smiled and continued to comb his fingers through his boyfriend’s hair until he woke up.

Keith barely opened his eyes, turning his head towards Lance’s hand, a sleepy smile on his face.

“Why aren’t you sleeping?” he asked Lance.

“Just wanted to appreciate how handsome my boyfriend is.”

Lance was sure that if Keith’s eyes would have been open, then he’d be rolling them right then. Instead, he just smiled and tightened his arm around Lance’s middle, bringing his boyfriend closer to his chest.

“Less sweet talking and more sleeping,” Keith mumbled in Lance’s hair and soon his breath evened out, sleep taking him again.

Lance closed his eyes and cuddled closer to Keith.


	5. Chapter 5

So, this is it. The end.

They’ve been planning this for months. The paladins, the Blades, all the allies. They’re all going to do it and it almost feels like a dream. He doesn’t know how long they’ve all been here in space, it feels like a lifetime but it couldn’t have been more than ten years.

The others have left as soon as the meeting was over and now the room was devoid of the excitement that buzzed around before. It’s as if the reality of what they’re about to do is finally hitting Keith. 

He wanted to follow his team too but when he realized that Lance wasn’t moving from his spot, he stayed behind. 

He doesn’t know how much more time they had together, so even this few moments when they are each on the other side of them room feels like more than enough. They’ll part soon, either way.

If they came alive out of this, Lance would finally go back home to his family and Keith would stay behind because he has no home to go back to.

“In another world,” Lance says looking at the plans scattered on the table. 

Keith can’t see his face but they’ve known each other for a decade almost, he doesn’t need to see Lance’s face to know what the other man is thinking. He can read everything in the way his body moves as he pushes his chair in its place, in the way his hands hide inside the pocket of his jacket and won’t stop fiddling, in the way he turns to look at Keith. He sees there the eagerness, the fear and the hope that he also feels.

“We could have been so much more,” he finishes and starts walking towards Keith, who was waiting for him at the door.

Lance’s words hurt Keith in the only way truth can, leaving behind the bitter realization that there is nothing more they can do about it.

“We could…” Lance begins but he closes his mouth when their eyes finally meet as if he thought better about what he wants to say. 

Keith offers Lance his hand when the other man is near enough for him to take it and Lance smiles at him as their fingers intertwine. It’s something they’ve done a million and one times and, despite all the changes that are upon them, it feels like the first time.   
Lance moves even closer to Keith until he finally stops resting their foreheads together. Keith closes his eyes and takes Lance’s other hand in his.

“But in this world?” Lance tries again, and Keith can hear the smile in his voice. “In this one we were enough, amor.”


	6. Chapter 6

The sunset sneaks through the curtains and it casts gentle shadows around the apartment, making everything burn in lovely shades of red and brown. It turns Keith’s living room into a scenery worthy of a painting. The calmness it brings making you stop and admire it for hours.

Keith, though, ignores all his surroundings to admire his boyfriend- _his fiancé_ , instead, as all these warm lights and shadows make Lance look more beautiful than ever.

The small smile on his face makes Keith feel at home and he can't stop from smiling back.

When they first started dating, Lance’s smiles used to light fires inside Keith, making him almost breathless and his heart and stomach burned with something that he can only describe as eagerness. A fire that slowly spread under his skin, through his veins, to the tip of his fingers making them tingle with happiness.

A fire that bow soothes him and keeps Keith grounded.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Lance asks laughing quietly. “Do I still have some ice cream on my face?”

Keith hums, stepping closer to his fiancé and he takes one of Lance’s hands in his, lacing their fingers together. He admires the way their new engagement rings shine in the twilight lights intruding in their little word.

“No,” he answers slowly, still not looking up. “I was just thinking about you and how happy you make me feel.”

Keith knows his words made Lance blush even without looking at him from the way his fingers squeeze Keith’s.

“Amor, if I had known this ring would make you this happy, I would’ve proposed earlier,” Lance jokes and Keith rolls his eyes as his smiles softens with fondness.

Lance brings their intertwined fingers up and kisses the back of Keith’s hand. When their eyes meet, Lance smirks against Keith’s hand which makes the skin there tingle from that fire and making his heart beat with joy.

“Maybe next time you’ll actually be brave enough to propose without me proposing first,” Keith reminds him which makes his fiancé pout.

Lance opens his mouth for a clever comeback probably but he never gets the chance to say a word before Keith lets go of their hands and grabs him by the front of the jacket, pulling him in for a kiss.

That fire keeps growing and growing and Keith can’t believe how lucky he is because he’s going to feel it flickering inside of him for the rest of his life.


	7. Chapter 7

Keith wakes up to the feeling of fingers brushing through his hair. He frowns a little, not because he doesn’t like it, but because Lance’s loud voice in the middle of the night woke him up  and there was an annoying light in his face.

He was ready to threaten Lance to go to sleep when his words stop him.

“Look at him, Veronica! Doesn’t he look like an angel?” Lance tries to whisper, key word being _tries_. Keith can hear Lance’s sister sigh fondly and soon the light disappears from his face.

“Well,” Lance’s sister giggles and it sounds a little off coming from the phone. “If angels drooled in their sleep, then yes, Keith looks like an angel.”

Keith is a little offended by that and wants to open his eyes to let Veronica know a piece of his mind, but it’s late, his mind is tired and he knows that if he opens his eyes now, he won’t be able to fall back asleep. What he does instead is to roll on his stomach and face away from the harsh light of Lance’s phone, trying to fall back asleep.

He’ll have this conversation with Veronica another day.

“Oh,” Lance says quietly when Keith moves but soon his fingers are combing once again through his boyfriend’s hair.

“Maybe I should let you go to sleep, too. It’s like three over there, right?” Veronica asks and Keith imagines her worried face in his mind, which makes him smile a little. “Plus, I don’t want to wake Keith up.”

“Oh, don’t worry about him,” Lance dismisses with a quiet laugh. “He sleeps like the dead after he gets drunk. Not even a giant robot destroying our house would wake him up.”

Keith opens his eyes just to roll them and scoffs, but it’s drained out by Martha’s muffled laugh.

A comfortable silence falls in the room and Keith can hear Veronica hum something while she’s probably doing her homework or scrolling on Instagram. Lance joins her and it’s so nice and serene that Keith almost falls back asleep when Lance speaks up once again.

“Veronica?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m gonna ask him to marry me.”

Keith is wide awake in an instant and he gasps surprised at the same time as Veronica. He can barely breathe and think, let alone move his frozen body to stare wide eyes at his boyfriend. Instead, he looks around the room as Lance’s quietly revealed secret wraps around his tired mind.

“Oh my god!” Veronica squeals making Lance laugh before he shushes her.

“You’re really gonna wake him up like this.”

“I’m sorry! _This is so exciting!_ ” she whispers followed immediately by muffled squealing.

“I know,” Lance agrees, but his voice is soft when he continues. “My life is exciting and it’s all thanks to Keith. I mean, even before I met him my life was exciting, but ever since he became a part of my days, my life has been more… just more. He makes me so happy and everything is so much better when I have him next to me…” Lance trails off and sighs. “I just… I hope he feels the same way.”

Keith bites his lip, the fondness in Lance’s voice making his insides feels so warm and happy. He can barely keep the wide smile off his face when he turns to face his boyfriend.

Lance instantly looks over at him, eyes comically wide and mouth open slightly in surprise. Keith doesn’t give him the chance to speak as he says as loud and clear as his sleepy voice lets him, “I do.”


	8. Chapter 8

It has been a long time since Keith has last been to a hospital and everything was almost the same.

Same white and pale blue painted walls that looked even paler under the harsh lights. Same grey chairs that somehow didn’t worsen with the passing of time. Same magazines about celebrities scandals that his mother hated. Same plants at random places in the hallways that Keith never understood if they were real or not.

The only things that changed were how old he was and the reason he was here. He was no longer a six years old little boy with a deep bleeding cut on his eyebrow. He was twenty four years old panicking in a hospital chair because the brother he thought to be dead came back to him. He just didn’t know how much of that brother he got back.

“Shit,” he mumbled when he bit too hard into his thumb. He looked down at it and at the blood he drew out because he kept chewing on it ever since he came here twenty minutes ago.

So this wasn’t a dream. This was real. Shiro was here, or there, in that hospital room with their parents. Now if only he could find the courage to go there too. If only he could just stand up and open that fucking door and see for himself that his brother was alive and well and  _ here again _ .

But the thing was that he was afraid. Shiro went missing for a year after a mission went wrong and the doctors said he was lucky he was mostly intact.

What the fuck did  _ mostly intact _ even mean?

_ You’ll find out if you stepped inside that room, you know? _

“Fucking coward,” he whispered again dropping his head in his hands and closing his eyes. How was he supposed to do this on his own?

He wasn’t sure he could…

“Keith,” someone called him, making his muscles tense up until he realized that the voice didn’t belong to his mother or father. He opened his eyes surprised but when he looked up he was frowning in confusion when he met a pair of blue eyes. The voice belonged to…

“Lance,” he said just as quietly as before and the relief and calm that flooded him when he saw him made Keith feel ashamed for some reason. “What are you doing here?” he asked, voice louder than it was before, but it was still a little shaky thanks to all the emotions that went in circles inside of him.

Lance searched his face for a long time instead of answering Keith’s question and, after sighing deeply, he came to sit down beside Keith. “I was worried about you.”

“Oh,” Keith breathed out, looking away from him and ignoring the butterflies that came to life as soon as he realized what Lance’s words meant. He didn’t need them now but Lance’s presence there was comforting in some way. And, it might make him selfish, but he needed any kind of comfort now more than ever.

He could feel Lance’s eyes on him still, but Keith refused to meet his eyes. He kept ignoring them until Lance shifted his attention to the closed door in front of them. Silence reigned between them until Lance spoke up again.

“Your brother, huh?” he asked, voice gentle and understanding, with no sign that he was actually expecting an answer.

Keith nodded, not trusting his voice anymore to not break while he was talking. He felt tears stinging his eyes and he bit down on his tongue till it drew blood, but he still couldn’t stop them from falling down his cheeks and creating small dark spots on his jeans. Keith tried to swallow down the lump that appeared in his throat but it was too big, and instead he choked out a broken sob.

He immediately brought both hands over his mouth and leaned over, his elbows resting on his legs so he wouldn’t fall face down on the hospital’s hallway.

God, he was so scared. He had no idea in what condition he could find his brother and no one came out of that damn room to tell him that Shiro was fucking fine. That his brother who he thought of as dead for a year, finally came back to him. And that the doctors were just being vague about his condition for some reason that Keith couldn’t think of right now.

He couldn’t think at all. His feelings created a tornado inside his mind that he had no control over. It was just too much and he just needed something…

He felt a hand tentatively touching his back, almost hovering from how gentle it was.

He just needed  _ someone _ .

“Keith. Hey, Keith,” Lance called him, voice slow and almost like a whisper. For some reason, Keith felt like a little kid that was comforted during a big storm. “Look at me- just breathe, okay?”

Keith looked up at him, eyes wide open and glistening from the tears that continued to spill even after he took away the hands from his mouth.

“Breathe,” Lance repeated, taking in a deep breath and Keith doing the same without thinking. “Like that! Good!” he said smiling and they continued to inhale and exhale at the same time until Keith calmed down. He was still crying. He held those tears inside of him for too long for them to end just like this, but he didn’t care.

“It’s okay to feel whatever you are feeling, okay?” Lance reassured him, his eyes not wavering once from Keith’s. Keith expected Lance to go on about how he had all the reasons to feel like this and how everything would be okay. He didn’t though. “But you also need to go inside that room. You need to be there for your parents- who are most probably feeling the same thing as you- and you need to be there for your brother. Staying here and letting your thoughts eat you from the inside out isn’t helping anyone. Especially you.”

Keith kept looking at him. “I don’t think I can, Lance,” he whispered back in the end. He barely felt strong enough to talk, let alone get up and walk inside that room.

Out of all the answers Lance could have given him, Keith never expected to see the other boy smile smugly at him. “That’s what I’m here for.” He got up from his seat next to Keith, who followed his movements with his eyes. Lance kept smiling at him and put a hand between them. “I’m not letting you do it alone. I’m here to support you, Keith. We’re gonna walk inside that room and we’re gonna face whatever we see there, together. Okay?”

Keith looked away from Lance’s serious expression to his hand and he stared at it for a few moments. In the end, he took it and Lance helped him get up on his own two feet. He was still looking at their hands when he said quietly, in the small distance between them, a “Thank you, Lance!”

Lance squeezed his hand and Keith looked up at him to see that smile he loved so much on Lance’s face. He tried smiling back, but wasn’t sure how much he accomplished by doing that.

He took a deep breath then and, with his hand still in Lance’s, he turned to walk towards Shiro’s room.


	9. Chapter 9

Lance feels his eyelids getting heavier and heavier with every blink, but he is too stubborn and he’s feeling too good to fall asleep right now.

Keith laughs beside him and it makes him open his eyes with a content smile on his face. He didn’t even realize he closed them.

What he does realize though, is that Keith has been talking about something and Lance totally ignored him.  _ Shit _ , he thinks while rubbing both of his eyes in an attempt to wipe away the sleepiness. He somewhat succeeds but a long yawn destroys all his hard work. He huffs annoyed and turns on his side, tucking both hands under his head.

At least like this, the last thing he sees before falling asleep is Keith’s pretty profile.

“This should be illegal,” hu mumbles into his forearms.

Keith stops talking and turns to look at him with a confused frown. “What?”

“You. Being this pretty. It should be illegal.”

Keith’s eyes widen just enough to let Lance know that he caught him off guard and his cheeks flush bright red immediately. Lance grins satisfied, feeling as a little bit of sleep goes away at seeing his boyfriend this flustered.

“Do you wanna know when I first realized that I’m in love with you?” Lance asks but gives Keith no time to reply as he goes on, “We were at a party. I think it was a celebration because the Quții became our allies? There were so many aliens there, and there were all pretty attractive too.” Keith rolls his eyes which prompts Lance to grin at him. “But then you stepped inside the room with Allura, wearing you Altean suit -and it’s not like it was the first time I saw you wearing that. You always looked  _ good _ in it. And I was gonna ignore that thought like always but then you stopped beside me and we started talking and joking-”

“Oh, I remember,” Keith whispers, his smile turning soft at the edges. It makes Lance’s inside turn to mush t how much he loves that smile. He would do anything to protect it.

“You looked so happy just staying there with me and laughing at my dumb jokes.”

“I was,” Keith admits and the faintest of red dusts his cheeks. It takes everything in Lance to not kiss the hell out of his boyfriend right there and then. Keith starts laughing quietly before he says, “You hit on me that night. You were all like puffing your chest out and you had this mischievous look in your eyes and you said:  _ Okay. I’m gonna go to the most beautiful alien in this room and I’ll ask them to be my partner for tonight. _ ” Lance laughs at Keith’s interpretation on him but doesn’t interrupt him. He’s curious to hear his side of the story from that night. “You drank whatever was left in you glass and I started thinking  _ well, it was good while it lasted _ . I was bracing myself to a night of watching you flirt with this random alien but then you turned to face me, with the sappiest smile on your face and you said-”

“You look so beautiful tonight. Would you give me the honor of being my dance partner for tonight?”

Keith looks surprised at Lance but soon that expression melts into fondness and Lance’s heart just melts at Keith’s eyes. “Yeah, that’s what you said,” Keith whispers.

“You rolled your eyes at me then, but you still blushed. Man, you blushed so hard,” he teases giggling which makes Keith sigh and shake his head. “But you still took my hand and you danced with me all night. And just like that” -Lance puts a hand on Keith’s cheek, stroking it with his thumb- “just like that, my new favorite thing was you.”

Keith blushes for what feels like the hundredth time this night and he looks so beautiful. Just like that night when all he could think was how in love he was with this perfect boy.

“You flatterer,” Keith says and leans in to kiss Lance.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> inspired by [newtsdoodles' art](https://newtsdoodles.tumblr.com/post/175663888248/slow-burn)

_ I saw you _

The first time Lance sees Keith, there’s a strange squeeze in his chest. It feels as if every part of his skin is on edge, buzzing with excitement while a blush rises to his cheeks. The feeling isn’t new for him. It’s just the person making him feel this way who is different, but he decides not to give it much thought. He just wants to go talk to the other boy and get to know him.

He doesn’t do that, of course. Instead, he stays away and watches with wide eyes as the boy crushes the flying simulation. Everyone in the room remains silent after he steps out of the ship, most likely waiting to see the teacher’s reaction. 

Not Lance, though. 

The reason why Lance remains silent is because his heart is beating too fast in his chest. He can barely breathe, let alone speak. He tries not to think about the smile the boy showed briefly while he was flying, it was small and gone as soon at it appeared, almost as if the boy didn’t mean to do that.

It’s an image that would haunt Lance for years.

“Keith Kogane,” the teacher’s voice booms in the closed hangar, a hint of smile in his voice. “I haven’t seen a score like this in a long time.”

Later that night, Lance lays awake in his bed, looking at the dark ceiling and trying not to think about his own lousy score. His mind takes him to the fleeting smile on the boy’s face while he was flying.

“Keith Kogane,” he whispers the name, tasting the words on his lips for the first time.

_ and i fell _

Nobody ever asks Lance this, but if anyone would ever want to know what Lance’s nightmare are like, he would describe Keith Kogane.

He would describe how he ignored Lance when he tried to befriend the other boy. He would describe all the times he felt hopeless next to the flying prodigy. He’d describe the bitterness that he tasted everytime he said the name out loud. He’d describe a straight back, an annoying mullet that refused to look ugly and a pair of fiery firm eyes that still stirred up funny feelings inside Lance’s chest.

He would describe the same strong back he has been forced to look at for years as it left behind everything: the flying, the Garrison, the expectations, the disappointments. As it left Lance behind.

But, of course, like every nightmare that changes someone, Keith Kogane came back into Lance’s life, too. And he brought with him everything Lance swore he left behind in that night where the only thing that broke the silence was his whisper.

He wants to ignore Keith. He wants to do that so bad and make him feel what Lance went through all those years at the Garrison even if it was the pettiest thing he could ever do. Unfortunately, it is hard to do that ever since they started living in the palace where he’s only surrounded by other four humans, two aliens and four mice.

And even though he wants to ignore Keith, he can’t. There is a fire living in the pits of his stomach that wakes up everytime he sees the other boy and it demands attention.

He hates it. He hates Keith. He hates how Keith keeps meeting his eyes and looking at him as if he were a puzzle that he didn’t know how to solve. But mostly, he hates how satisfied the fire inside him feels whenever he catches those looks.

_ and fell _

The thing about fires is that they are greedy creatures. They keep growing and continue living only if they get what they want. However, even when they are deprived of what gives them life, they’re too stubborn to die slowly and quietly.

And Keith’s eyes are the most dangerous kind of fuel for Lance. They’re too expressive and open and easy to read. The feelings flicker inside of them, mesmerizing and drawing Lance in without warning.

He can’t say he’s drowning in them. Keith’s eyes aren’t like the sea, ever changing and fluid. Instead, they make Lance feel like he’s looking at a bonfire. Big and warm and far too dangerous to get close to.

So, until now, Lance has tried to keep his distance. No good thing would ever come out of looking into Keith’s eyes. And yet, just like the real bonfires, Lance can’t help but be fascinated with them. He wants to get closer and pay close attention to what’s happening to them. He wants to understand them.

But, he thinks as he puts a hand on Keith’s shoulder, Lance himself is a fire. Not as big and powerful as Keith, but still greedy nonetheless.

And when two fires collide, there is no escape.

_ and fell _


	11. Chapter 11

Keith is freezing.

He doesn’t care about how hot his friends say it is outside. He is shivering and the cold waves crashing on his body aren’t helping.

“Dude!” Hunk calls out to him. Keith puts a hand up to cover the sun as he looks at Hunk. “Are you going to stay there forever?”

Pidge giggles beside him, going up and down to the water’s pleasure, holding onto the beach ball as if it’s the only thing keeping her afloat. And maybe it is, who knows.

Pidge tell something to Hunk but they’re too far away for Keith to hear what exactly. The crashing waves and the children squealing aren’t helping him either.

“I’ll come a bit later. I just need to get used to the water.”

Pidge rolls his eyes at him. “You’re so weak. This is why you die more times than Shiro when we play DnD.”

Keith pretends he really didn’t hear her this time.

In the end, they leave him alone. Keith watches them as they play in the water, not bothered at all by the cold wind. A few times, Hunk dives a few times, every time stay under longer and longer. Pidge, instead, keeps floating with the beach ball. She lets it take her where the water wants, then when she gets too far away from Hunk, she swims back at him.

When Hunk stays under the water too much one time, Pidge starts looking around, either panicked or annoyed. She turns to look at Keith, as if to ask if he’s seen Hunk but before she can even open her mouth, Hunk appears again taking Pidge in her arms with him as he rises.

Keith can’t hold back the laugh at Pidge’s reaction. Hunk laughs too, ignoring Pidge’s weak hits against his shoulders and then, without warning, throws her a few feet away.

Her shriek before she goes under is the funniest thing Keith has heard this whole week.

His laugh catches in his throat when something bumps into him. For a very long second, he’s sure a fish or something found his way to him someway. He doesn’t want to turn to look in case he’s right, but then a hand grasps his arm and Keith lets out te breathe he hasn’t realized he’s been holding.

He finally turns around to face Lance. He looks so gorgeously happy and at ease in the sea that it makes Keith’s heart ache.

“The waves brought me to you,” he says, eyes sparkling and face shining from the droplets that run down his nose and cheeks.

Keith rolls his eyes almost smiling back when Lance laughs at him. “You’re the cheesiest boy I’ve ever met.”

“And you love it,” Lance sing songs back. When Keith doesn’t deny it, his grin grows impossibly large. Lance is so beautiful in that moment, that it takes everything in Keith not to kiss him right there and then.

He doesn’t do that, of course. But only because Lance thinks it’s the right moment to splash water on him. 

“Oh, this is war, Shark Boy.”

Lance laughs at him. “Oooh, I’m scared, Lava Girl.” That was all Keith needed to start attacking Lance with water. He stood no chance against Keith’s quick attacks.

Finally, after ten minutes, Keith wins when Lance falls on his back in the water laughing. “Fine, fine. You win. Geez!”

“Damn right,” Keith smiles proudly, ignoring the fast way he was panting and his aching arms. Lance is pretty much just as worn out as him, but his smile didn’t leave his face once during this silly fight.

Even now. As he was floating on his back in the water with his eyes closed, he has on a small happy smile. Looking at him while he’s like this, Keith admits to himself that he’s never loved Lance more than he loves him in this moment.

“Hey,” Keith says, talking Lance’s hands which immediately holds onto Keith’s fingers. He doesn’t open his eyes and he keeps floating, the only acknowledgment he gives Keith is a hum. “Aren’t you going to play with the others?”

“Nah.”

One word. A single simple reply. And yet, it make Keith realize something: he was wrong.

He has never loved this boy more than now.


	12. Chapter 12

The light catches in the wine that’s swirling in the glass as Keith keeps spinning and spinning and spinning it. It resembles his thoughts.

It’s been so long since he last thought about that day- or was it night?

“It’s hard to know time in space,” he mutters under his breath.

“Did you say something, sweetheart?” the bartender asks and Keith looks up at her. She’s smiling kindly at him, the smile showing off her dimples and soft wrinkles. Not for the first time, Keith’s in awe of how much warmth a human being can emanate.

A brief light, almost like a memory, flashes on his mind of someone else that used to make him think about this but his memory is too fucked up to recognize the ghost.

Keith shakes his head to answer her, but also to clear his mind. “Nothing.”

Her smiles becomes more curious at his reply but asks nothing more. And, this is why Keith keeps coming back to this bar on the nights when the need to be alone is too strong.

He finishes the last of his wine and puts down the glass. “Can I have one more?”

The woman raises an eyebrow and it reminds Keith of someone else who used to do it everytime he did or said something they didn’t agree with. He can’t recall, though, if it was Pidge or Lance. It breaks his heart nonetheless.

They had tried after all, to mess up his memories too but not enough to satisfy them and after too many failed attempts they just gave up. The only reason he’s still on Earth today is because he signed a paper where it said that he can’t talk to anyone about what happened. Yeah, like he could do that. They erased everyone’s memories of the time they spent together in space, saving the fucking universe.

A universe that thanked them by wiping away everything they knew.

“Here you go, sweetheart.” The bartender puts down his now refilled glass, bringing him back. After they stare at each other for some time, she says in the same stern voice she always uses. “It’s the last one for tonight.”

Keith nods, biting back a smile. It’s not like this wine could get him drunk. He tried doing that too many times, all it did is get him dizzy enough to make his legs feel lighter than they were.

He swirls the wine again and looks at his tired eyes in the glass’ reflection. He doesn’t even like wine and yet, he always drinks it when a new memory comes back. Keith suspects he does it because one of the paladins -or maybe Coran- liked it or because it reminds him of all those strange and fancy drinks he used to have at the alliance parties. Both are possible, but no matter how much he tries, his mind fails him everytime.

Keith sighs and drinks.

Maybe they did more damage than they actually thought. It’s been almost five years since the Garrison forced them to go through this process - _ for the well-being of the other people and aliens living here _ , they said-  and he’s just now starting to heal a little.

He remembers Hunk’s laugh at the table during dinners. He remembers Pidge’s sleepy mumbles about numbers and new gadgets for the lions. He remembers Shiro’s warm hug and Allura’s rebellious but soft hair. He even remembers Coran’s long speeches. Small things that he never really paid close attention to, yet somehow they stuck with him after all he’s been through.

He also remembers blue.

He sighs, finishing his drink in one big gulp. The woman gives him a disapproving look when he pays for his drink, but he pretends not to notice it.

He gets up and, with disappointment, he notices the alcohol didn’t even touch him. He feels just as awake as he was when he walked in and he braces himself for a long night.

He blames this on his Galra part.

Keith can’t even remember how his team reacted when they found out about this. Did they have a good reaction? Or a bad one? Did they accept him immediately or did they-

Buried in his thoughts, he doesn’t see the person that walks inside the bar just as he wants to get out. He bumps into them and he barely has the time to regain his balance before the person puts a hand on his shoulder.

So, maybe the wine did hit him just a little bit.

“Hey, man,” the stranger says and Keith looks up at him to meet a pair of deep blue eyes.

And he remembers. Lance’s eyes.

“Are you okay?” the stranger asks.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m okay.”

The guy look at him like he’s not sure whether to believe him or not, but he still let’s go of Keith. He doesn’t look away from Keith, though, and when Keith meets his eyes once again, the man blushes.

“Okay. I’m gonna ask you something that’ll sound like a pick up line, but I swear it isn’t,” he quickly adds when Keith raises an eyebrow at him. 

Keith hums, feeling somehow amused at the endearing scene in front of him. The guy takes it as a cue to continue.

“Have we met before?”

Keith looks surprised at him but then he starts laughing, even though there’s nothing funny about this situation. He stops as soon as he sees the embarrassed look on the other man’s face and clears his throat. “Are you sure it’s not a pick up line?”

The strangers looks at him confused but when he sees Keith’s smirk, a grin appears on his face. “It can be, if that’s what you want, um..”

“Keith,” he introduces himself, taking the hand the guy offers him.

“The name’s Lance.”

The man’s grin take on a sharper edge and Keith’s heart flutters in a familiar way.


	13. Chapter 13

Keith tries very hard to keep in his yawn, but just like the other three times, he fails. After he wipes away the sleepy tears, he turns his attention back to his computer screen where he is greeted by a very displeased Lance.

“Keith…”

“Nope.”

Lance groans and he drags a hand down his face, clearly frustrated. “Babe, c’mon! That was the fourth time you yawned in, like, five minutes. Just go to sleep.”

“Nope.”

“It’s past midnight over there, and we’ve been talking for hours,” Lance tries again but Keith is stubborn.

“Nope.”

“You’re impossible!” he complains with a glare in his eyes. He also throws his hands up as if to emphasize how annoyed he is.

Keith laughs quietly at his reaction. It’s been years and yet Lance is just as stubborn as Keith about this. “You should know better by now.”

Lance scrunches up his nose, looking away. “Oh, I do know you’re allergic to sleep, doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

“Well, what can I do if I like talking to you more than I like sleeping.” Keith shrugs, smiling satisfied when he sees the blush rising to Lance’s cheeks. Ever since they started dating a few months ago, Lance’s reactions to Keith’s flirting have become more enjoyable to watch.

Of course, seeing Lance blush because of something he said has always been enjoyable, but now he can appreciate it without dying of embarrassment at his own words. And knowing that the flirting between them two is actually for real is the best part about having Lance McClain as his boyfriend. Well, after the kisses, and hand holding, and cuddles, and dates, and staring at him for however long he wants.

Lance recovers quickly, though, and the glare is back on his face. “Don’t blame me for your fucked up sleeping schedule, Kogane! I’ve been trying to make it better since high school, even though I know it’s useless.”

“I know, babe.” Keith smiles softly at Lance, but his boyfriend is already too worked up once again over this argument. Keith crosses his arms on the desk in front of his and places his cheek on his forearms in a way that still allows him to watch Lance rant about unhealthy habits.

“It’s like I’ve been talking to a wall all this time! You just nod and say yes, but in the end you still do as you wish.”

Keith bites his lower lip in an attempt to stifle his giggles. He knows he shouldn’t do this because Lance is right. He just can’t contain his happiness when he sees Lance care so much about him to the point of getting this angry about going to bed just a couple hours later than him.

“Keith?” Lance asks when he realizes that Keith has hidden his face in the crook of his

elbow.

“I’m sorry and you’re right,” Keith says, voice muffled.

Lance sighs defeated and the sound makes Keith look up at his computer. Lance has his cheek propped in one of his hands and he is drumming his fingers on his cheek. He’s spending waay too much time with Allura, dammit. “Why aren’t you going to sleep, then?”

“Because I like talking to you! Seeing you during our calls isn’t the same as when we see each other face to face at college. I miss you and I want to spend as much time as possible with you before I have to go to sleep.”

Lance’s eyes widen in surprise just as his cheeks darken with a blush. He says nothing, keeping his mouth shut, but the emotions in his eyes are enough for Keith to know that he feels the same.

“And right now you were talking about swimming with your niece and nephew, and teaching them how to surf. And just-“ Keith swallows, feeling his own face heat up just thinking at what he’s about to say now. He avoids Lance’s eyes as he mumbles, “I live for the way your eyes light up when you talk about the things you love.”

Keith bites his lip and he holds his breath in the silence that follows his confession. He wants to look at Lance’s reaction, but he’s too embarrassed. God, why did he say that? Why didn’t his sleepy mind stop his broken mouth? Why-

The sound of something crashing startles him from his thoughts. He looks alarmed back at his computer screen when he realizes that it came from Lance but what greets him isn’t his boyfriend’s flushed face. In fact, Lance is nowhere to be seen. “Babe?”

He gets a groan as a reply, then a hand shots up above the desk. Keith blinks at it, not understanding what happened. “Did you… did you fall?”

Silence, and then Lance’s sheepish reply. “Yeah.”

This time Keith doesn’t even try to stop himself from laughing. He doesn’t even care if he’s loud at this point, he just laughs for what feels like hours. He’s never laughed so hard in his life.

“Sh-shut up!” Lance stammers, sounding just as embarrassed as he probably looked, no doubt. He groans miserably, long and loud. A dulled thud follows, as if he placed his head on his desk a little too hard. “Keith, seriously, please stop.”

He does stop, but the giggles are harder to stifle. Lance looks up at him with an annoyed look in his eyes but the blushing cheeks and the red spot on his forehead take away from its edge. Keith puts a hand over his mouth, hoping that it would muffle the snort. Unfortunately, Lance hears it and groans again as he drops his head on his desk again. Hard.

“Ouch!” he cries, lifting his head and massaging the spot with his fingers. “This is not my night for sure.”

“Dude…” Keith whispers, still laughing.

Lance glares at him from under his hand, but soon the hard look is replaced by an embarrassed smile. “I was so surprised. I have no idea how I managed to fall.” The smile turns into giggles and then Lance starts laughing too, covering his face with both hands.

Keith joins in too, remembering once again how Lance’s hand shot up earlier, and they laugh together like only people drunk on sleep can do; feeding off each other’s good mood and making everything funnier than it actually is. He doesn’t know how much time passes until they finally stop, giggles and chuckles echoing between them before they fade eventually.

“Next time you say something that cheesy, please give me a warning,” Lance cautions making Keith snort.

“As if you ever give me a warning before you drop mushy stuff on me.”

“Yeah, but I’m me and I’m special.”

Keith rolls his eyes. “Sure you are, babe.”


End file.
